The Hardest Lesson: Why You Can't Make People Appreciate You

There's a difficult truth that took me a long time to learn, especially as someone whose greatest joy comes from serving others: We can't make people love us by doing more of what they already don't appreciate.

This message is for anyone who leads with a heart for service, but also for anyone who is deeply passionate about their calling. For me, that calling is service—seeking solutions, making situations better, and bringing a sense of peace. It's how I'm wired. But that wiring comes with a challenge I’ve faced my whole life: learning to handle rejection.

The Sting of a Pure Heart Rejected

It hurts like hell to know you can help someone, to offer that help from a pure place, and to be turned away. When you've dedicated your life to service, that rejection can feel like a personal failure. It’s easy to get angry or to question yourself. "Is there something wrong with me?"

The answer is no. If your intentions are pure and you're leading with a clean heart, rejection is not an indictment of your character. It’s not an indictment of the other person's character, either.

More often than not, it just means it's not the right time, the right fit, or the right situation. Not everyone has the ears to hear the message we have to deliver. The way we want to serve may not be what that person truly needs in that moment.

Rejection as a Test of Authenticity

I believe that life challenges us to confirm who we are. When we are rejected for being ourselves, it's a test. It asks, "Are you sure this is who you are?" It's an opportunity to refine our purpose, but not to abandon it. We have to walk our path long enough for life to either confirm that it's true for us or to show us a different way.

Being yourself is not going to resonate with everyone. In fact, sometimes that authentic light you bring may be too much for people to handle, and that's okay. Don't let their inability to see your value dim your light.

Trust the Process: Rejection is Redirection

The most important thing is to keep being who you were created to be. When you operate in your true identity, you will attract the right people in your life—the ones who belong, the ones who will appreciate what you have to offer.

Sometimes, rejection, disappointment, or dismissal is a blessing in disguise. It's a form of protection, redirecting you away from a situation that wasn't meant for you. It doesn't need to be taken personally.

Trust the process. Keep being yourself. Share your truthful experiences, because you never know who is listening and needs to hear exactly what you have to say. That is how we make the world a better place.

- Joshua T Berglan